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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706459">Kaiju Force</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildTrashCan/pseuds/AWildTrashCan'>AWildTrashCan</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic/pseuds/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic'>IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Middleditch &amp; Schwartz Extended Universe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Godzilla: King of The Monsters (2019), Middleditch &amp; Schwartz, Middleditch and Schwartz, Space Force</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Added plot, Crack Treated Seriously, G-Team will also make an appearance, G-Team/Space Force ultimate alliance, Gen, Humor, Literally just ficlets of Sam Coleman being in the F. Tony subplots of Space Force episodes, OOpS!, Sam Coleman-centric, Self-Indulgent, Space Force and Godzilla: KotM crossover</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:27:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildTrashCan/pseuds/AWildTrashCan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic/pseuds/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Titans have been spotted peacefully popping up around the world. However new research points out the existence of Kaiju in outer space. Who else but the newly developed Space Force can aid Monarch in exploring the final frontier? As Director of Technology, one of Sam Coleman's duties is to be the representative between both organizations. </p><p>Sam thought the hardest part of his job would be the Kaiju thing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>F. Tony Scarapiducci and Sam Coleman, Sam Coleman and Chan Kaifang, Sam Coleman and Dr. Mallory, Sam Coleman and G-Team, Sam Coleman and General Naird, Sam Coleman and Jackson Barnes, Sam Coleman and Space Force</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Middleditch &amp; Schwartz Extended Universe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Launch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24736630">F. Tony vs Godzilla</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildTrashCan/pseuds/AWildTrashCan">AWildTrashCan</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic/pseuds/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic">IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey, guess who's back on our bullshit :DD  So, I guess we created a Middleditch &amp; Schwartz Extended Universe...hope y'all enjoy the ride? </p><p>Also, if you're interested, we're currently <s>thinking about </s> <b>making</b> a reverse timeline where F. Tony ends up in the canon of the Godzilla: King of the Monsters movie. That would most likely be its own story in the series.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam Coleman straightens his tie as he heads closer to the entrance of the main building of the United States Space Force. </p>
<p>“Okay, Sam…” he says to himself under his breath, taking quick side glances on either side of him in case someone notices him speaking to himself. “You got this. You’ve talked to several generals before, what’s another one?” </p>
<p>He clutches his briefcase just a tad tighter and is about to stride through the open glass doors when he collides with another person. His briefcase explodes and several papers fly out. </p>
<p>“Hey! Watch it, you idiot!” The man in front of him yells. Sam rolls his eyes and chooses to ignore the asshole, focusing on picking up his important documents. His tablet is thankfully still safe and snug in the briefcase’s pocket. </p>
<p>Sam stands only to find said asshole still in front of him, eyebrow arched pointedly and tapping his foot. “Well? Aren’t you going to apologize?,” the man asks. </p>
<p>Sam’s eyebrows furrow, miffed at the other man. If the stranger hadn’t insulted his intelligence, Sam would have, but he did and there is no way Sam is going to back down against this guy now. “Apologize? You were the one who wasn’t looking forward.” </p>
<p>The stranger huffs and gives Sam a glare, “<i>I</i> wasn’t looking—” He stops abruptly. His eyes widen and wander to somewhere over Sam’s shoulder. Sam begins to turn around to look too when the asshole wraps his arm around Sam’s shoulders and directs him forward into the building. “You’re right! I wasn’t looking at all, shame on me.” Sam realizes (and is a bit annoyed by) the fact the stranger is taller than him by a few inches, so Sam is unable to see what obviously made the guy so freaked out. </p>
<p>“Excuse me!” Sam elbows the other man, but it, unfortunately, does not get the pesky arm off of him. “What are you doing?” As they walk, he gives a weak smile to the more than a few employees that start to openly stare at them.</p>
<p>“Why I’m apologizing by being your tour guide, obviously!” The asshole gives Sam and the people around them a large grin, “Aren’t I being nice?”</p>
<p>“I don’t need help!” Sam isn’t ashamed to admit to resorting to smacking his briefcase at the other man’s stomach. </p>
<p>The taller man groans lightly at the pain, but just holds on tighter and walks them faster. He looks back, curses, and then leans further into Sam’s face. “I’m not letting go until you tell me where you’re going.”</p>
<p>“Fine! General Naird’s office!” Sam just wants this guy to back off already. </p>
<p>The man brightens and says, “Perfect! I can take you there myself.” To Sam’s utter not surprise, the asshole doesn’t keep to his word and continues to manhandle him to another direction. </p>
<p>As Director of Technology for Monarch, Sam is used to the high pressures of dealing with gigantic monsters and has the patience needed to oversee the development of the technology useful in saving the world if needed. He could handle an ass of a governmental employee.</p>
<p>Sam sighs and resigns himself to his fate. </p>
<p>“Who are you, anyway?” Sam deserves to at least know the name of his kidnapper.</p>
<p>“F. Tony Scarapiducci, Space Force head media manager,” Scarapiducci winks at Sam, “at your service.”</p>
<p>Sam rolls his eyes and asks sarcastically, “What does the ‘F’ stand for?”</p>
<p>“Fuck Tony?! What are you doing here?” A much older man at the front desk yells at the both of them or rather, at “Fuck Tony” as they stroll through the waiting room and past the double doors of General Naird’s office. </p>
<p>The general is sitting at his desk when he looks up at the both of them. “Fuck Tony?! I literally just fired you ten minutes ago.”</p>
<p>Fuck Tony? Fired? Sam’s mind boggles at the bombardment of new information he’s learned about his new...friend? Someone who he’s just met but is honestly somewhat entertained by? Is that a definition of a friend? It’s been a while since Sam has met someone outside of Monarch. </p>
<p>Sam’s thoughts are interrupted by Scarapiducci speaking to the general. “Well, in my experience, there’s <i>fired</i> and there’s <b>fired</b>. This felt more like a <i>fired</i> type of thing.” The man even uses air quotes. “But if I’m fired, I’m fired.” He puts his hands up in mock surrender directing this at Sam who’s too bewildered at the display to respond. Scarapiducci returns his attention to General Naird. “But if you’re too busy, I’ll just be out there.” The taller man shimmies his way out of the office and the click of the doors punctuate the silence following his exit. </p>
<p>Sam stares at the wooden doors, stunned at the scene that occurred. He’s snapped back to reality when the general asks for his name. </p>
<p>Sam spins around and pats his clothes free of imaginary dust and the anxiety he accumulated from being around Scarapiducci. He clears his throat and holds his hand out for a handshake. “Right. I’m Dr. Sam Coleman. I’m the Director of Technology for Monarch and…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Mark and Mallory (and Fuck Tony and Sam) Go to Washington</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam smiles when he sees Dr. Mallory walking towards him, but the grin wilts when he sees how annoyed the older man is as he walks closer. The Monarch director had already finished any work pertaining to his actual job and since he was already in the area, decided to make a visit to Space Force. He was having a quite invigorating discussion with Dr. Chan about the effects of MUTO radiation on terrestrial plant life (his PhD may be in computer science, but he’s always up for learning new things), when he noticed Dr. Mallory’s ID lying forgotten on one of the nearby tables. Having recently been informed about the upcoming budget hearing that day, he figured the chief scientist was with the general getting ready. </p><p>"Dr. Mallory, I saw you left your ID back in the botany lab."</p><p>Mallory's eyes widen in surprise as Sam holds his credentials in front of him, before he breaks into a relieved smile. "Thank you, Dr. Coleman. I was just on my way to grab it." </p><p>“No pro—blem?” Rather than take the ID from Sam’s hand, Mallory drags the younger man by his jacket down the path he just came from and through the main building, all the way into General Naird's office waiting room, and pushes him in front of a guard. Why do people in Space Force want to manhandle him all the time? However, unlike with Fuck Tony, Sam doesn’t want to be rude and resigns to letting the chief scientist do as he pleases. </p><p>Mallory silently holds Sam's arm which is still carrying the older man’s ID and pushes it into the guard's face. The guard squints to stare at the small rectangular piece of plastic attached to a random man’s arm. "Thank you,” he says pleasantly, “Doctor...Mallory."</p><p>Dr. Mallory abruptly drops his hold on Sam causing the younger man to stumble on the ground. “You knew that,” Mallory says utterly deadpan. </p><p>Sam stands up and straightens out his suit and tie when the general’s assistant, Brigadier General “Just call me Brad!” Gregory, informs him about General Naird’s last minute media prep with Fuck Tony.</p><p>Mallory just sighs deeply. And walks out of the waiting room.</p><p>“Wait! Dr. Mallory!” Sam picks up the dropped ID and quickly goes after the man. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> ~O~</p>
</div><p>It was just supposed to be a quick hang out sesh with the science team, despairs Sam as he trails after Dr. Mallory. Now the chief scientist has asked (read: forced) Sam to pick up what is most likely the science team budget binder for the older man so he wouldn’t have to walk back to the lab himself. </p><p>Having finally found the general (and Fuck Tony), Mallory commands his new manservant to chase after the two.  </p><p>“Gen-general Naird!” Sam’s voice cracks, his lungs tired after having to jog back and forth the entire length of Space Force so many times (he's definitely met his weekly physical activity quota within the last hour). Thankfully, the general stops, allowing Sam to take a break. He holds the binder out like a shield as he pants.</p><p>“Where is my rat blood pressure research funding?!” Each of Mallory’s words are emphasized as he walks up behind Sam. </p><p>Sam barely registers that the three men have started walking again when he finally catches his breath. </p><p>“Uh, er. Dr. Mallory?” He strides up to the two arguing men, “I hate to interrupt, but now that the general is here, I’ll just head out myself.” Sam wants to just go home and take a nap. He wasn’t expecting the sudden work-out today.  </p><p>As Mallory takes the binder from him, General Naird stares at Sam with a raised eyebrow. The general hums and asks, “Isn’t one of your tasks in Monarch to speak in Senate hearings?”</p><p>Bewildered by the sudden question, Sam answers with a hesitant yes.</p><p>“Do they include budget meetings?”</p><p>“Um…” Sam glances behind the general’s shoulder at Fuck Tony’s obviously amused expression. </p><p>“Perfect! You’re coming with us.” General Naird continues walking, firmly ignoring any of Sam’s and Dr. Mallory’s protests. The two PhD holders look at each other in commiseration before following. </p><p>Outside, a young woman bounces up to the general. Sam, Tony, and Mallory stand a couple feet back as General Naird and his daughter speak. Sam takes the time to look at the pilot waiting in parade rest and the helicopter behind her. It’s been a while since Sam has been in a helicopter as Monarch typically uses an Osprey to carry multiple passengers as well as important cargo over the long distances between outposts. Having looked his fill, he turns back to the conversation in front of him.</p><p>“...gave the teacher the finger,” says the general’s daughter proudly.</p><p>"Nice! Y’know, one time my history teacher gave me a C so I planted drugs in his desk, and now? He lives under a bridge like a troll!" Tony excitedly informs the teenager. He elbows Sam in camaraderie and wiggles his eyebrows. </p><p>"I never went to high school,” Sam pipes up after Tony, but quickly finishes his sentence when the general turns around to give him a hard look. “I mean—I graduated university at fourteen...so I didn’t have to?” Sam gives the older man a pained smile and tells himself to shut up. </p><p>Tony rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Nerd.”</p><p>Sam doesn’t miss Dr. Mallory’s nod of approval, however, and tries hard not to blush. </p><p>The three men watch the very uncomfortable (at least for Sam) conversation between father and daughter. General Naird then commands the pilot of their helicopter, Captain Ali, to basically babysit his teenage daughter, which Sam honestly thinks is uncalled for. </p><p>Sam gives the captain a sympathetic smile, who returns an unamused glare. A bit scared for his life now, the Monarch director hurries after the three other men into the helicopter.  </p><p>“At least someone else here knows how to fly,” General Naird says gruffly as he sits himself onto the pilot’s seat. Sam’s surprised but pleased that the general remembered. Nervous about the awkward start of their first meeting, Sam had told the older man about having a pilot’s license as to create some common ground between the two. </p><p>“Kiss ass,” Fuck Tony calls him in a hushed sing-song voice. Sam rolls his eyes and refuses to answer back, buckling up his own seatbelt. As the youngest, they were both delegated to the back seats of the helicopter with Dr. Mallory up at the front passenger’s next to the general.</p><p>Sam wishes he could say he gets the last laugh upon learning how freaked out Tony gets during their flight, but the brunet man is an utter nightmare to sit next to on an aircraft.</p><p>After flying for a few minutes, Mallory takes the time to continue his argument, “Rat hemoglobins are substantially—”</p><p>“Jesus, just let him fly the fucking thing!” Tony ends up screaming into Sam’s ear as the asshole bends closer towards Dr. Mallory, who’s in the seat directly in front of Sam. “You’re talking, he’s gotta fly!” </p><p>Sam pushes the panicked man off of him, and not one to be so easily deterred, Fuck Tony pushes back, which eventually leads to a slap fight between the two younger men.</p><p>"Oh, for the love of—I will turn this helicopter back around if you don't knock it off, do I make myself clear?!" The general yells at the two behind him who quickly stop and settle down. </p><p>Sam just hears Mallory sigh wearily over the microphone. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> ~O~</p>
</div><p>"So why'd you come here?" Tony asks him, eyes still fixed on his phone. The two younger men sit on wooden benches outside of the Chief of Staff Gold Room, waiting for General Naird. Unlike Mallory, who settled himself right outside of the door, he and Tony are in an empty hallway nearby, not wanting to disturb the other visitors. </p><p>"What?" Sam says, taking a pause from twisting and flexing his fingers (a nervous tic he’s developed since childhood from his need to constantly tinker with something). </p><p>Tony finally looks up from his phone and waves a hand at Sam, gesturing...something. Sam doesn’t know what. "It wasn't that surprising to see you act like Mallory's personal gofer, you science dudes tend to travel in packs. But letting Naird drag you with him? You do know the general doesn't really have power over you, right? He's your business partner, not your boss."</p><p>"I...I just thought I'd help him out? Since we're business partners I may as well make sure the group I'm working with doesn't implode weeks into our partnership." Sam chooses to ignore the fact that Fuck Tony has a point, embarrassed at his own lack of a backbone. </p><p>"Well, if you say so. Honestly, he'll need all the help he can get." The brunet sends Sam a pointed look. </p><p>"What is that supposed to mean?" Sam stretches his fingers even tighter, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. </p><p>"You'll see," Tony says in a tone implying lots and lots of experience with the matter, and goes back to playing with his phone.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> ~O~</p>
</div><p>As they walk into Capitol Hill, Sam feels his back straighten automatically, holding his head up higher to show he’s much more confident than he really is. A Pavlovian response that formed from having to speak to several crowds on behalf of Monarch. </p><p>It probably doesn’t work considering many senators still tend to disregard his existence.  </p><p>Sam startles at seeing a balding senator grab the general in a forceful hug and almost bumps into Dr. Mallory in front of him. </p><p>“Well! That was awkward and horrible,” Tony declares with a grin. And Sam is about to agree until the other man continues, “The man is about to grill you, let him bring it in for the real thing. Remember!” He points a finger to emphasize his point, “You gotta <i>embrace</i> to get those dollars for <i>space</i>!”</p><p>“What? No!” Sam blurts out. Unfortunately, his warning goes unheard when an older woman passes by. </p><p>The secondhand cringe Sam gets seeing General Naird give his own non-consensual hug to Representative Pitosi makes the younger man’s skin crawl. </p><p>“What the <i>fuck</i>, Fuck Tony?” Sam whispers and gives his own look of disbelief towards the brunet as they wait to be let inside. The Monarch director then turns to the general and says placatingly, “Maybe you shouldn’t follow Tony’s advice, sir.”</p><p>Tony cocks his head toward the shorter man and narrows his eyes. "I'm sorry, since <i>when</i> were you the PR guy?" </p><p>“Oh no, <i>I’m</i> sorry,” Sam gives Tony a sarcastically pitying look, “I’m just the man whose <i>job</i> is to speak at these things.”</p><p>"<i>Great job</i> you're doing when you tell the general's daughter to skip school <i>as</i> you're telling her not to skip school." Tony raises his eyebrow and crosses his arms. </p><p>“What the hell does that even mean?!” Sam throws his hands up in the air. </p><p>“Gentlemen…” Dr. Mallory’s voice creeps up from behind the two, irritated by the noise. Sam and Tony face the chief scientist. His eyes stare coldly at them. </p><p>“Sorry, sir.” Sam says meekly.</p><p>“Whatever,” sneers Tony at the same time. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> ~O~</p>
</div><p>Sam closes his eyes and focuses on breathing slowly so he doesn't end up bashing his head into something as he's forced to listen to a fucking flat earther that somehow got a position in Congress. Granted, considering the fact that the current POTUS is a Piece Of Shit he really shouldn't be surprised but holy <i>crap</i>, he is losing brain cells by the second. Brain cells that are very important to MUTO research, thank you very much…why the hell is here, again?</p><p>Tony obnoxiously lets out a fake guffaw and pats Sam’s shoulder harshly as the general makes a joke. Sam gives his own awkward giggle since the rest of the crowd behind them laugh along. </p><p>He <i>really</i> doesn’t want to be here. </p><p>Tony pulls his phone out yet again and starts typing away. Sam’s already beginning to tune out the whole hearing when his phone vibrates inside his jacket pocket. He ignores it. </p><p>Tony continues to text. Sam’s phone continues to vibrate.</p><p>Sam’s noticing a trend here. He pulls out his own phone, staring disapprovingly at Tony and then at his messages. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <i>Told you so</i>
  </p>
  <p>
  <i>                                                                                                                               You enjoying your front row seat for the cringe show?</i>
</p>
  <p>
  <i>                                                                                                                                                                                               Saaaam</i>
</p>
</div><p>Sam takes a quick peek at the senators sitting above them and then leans towards Tony, whispering, “Why are you texting me right now?”</p><p>Tony presses a finger against his own lips and shushes him, “It’s rude to talk when others are speaking.”</p><p>Sam huffs and returns to his phone. What an asshole!</p><p>
  <i>You’re an asshole.<br/>
Stop texting me.</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>                                                                                                                              <i>bold words for someone texting <b>me</b></i></p>
</div><p>Sam leaves Tony’s messages on “read” and tries to refocus on the meeting. Representative Pitosi is holding a stack of documents filled almost entirely with black lines. </p><p>Wow. And people thought <i>Monarch</i>—a literally secret (or rather semi-secret now) science organization—had a problem with being open about their experiments and research? </p><p>Sam frowns as he sees the general begin to tap a pencil on the desk and clear his throat an unnecessary number of times. The Monarch representative glances around in case anyone notices him and then types out a text. </p><p>
  <i>Is Naird ok?</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>                                                                                                                                       <i>dw this happens anytime all of us depend on<br/>
him being able to talk like a human being :/</i></p>
</div><p>
  <i>Wow<br/>
How does Space Force <b>function</b>?</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>                                                                                                                                                                                        <i>we dont</i></p>
</div><p>Sam doesn’t even bother to reply back, pressing his hand to his forehead. “Jesus…,” he whispers. </p><p>It also doesn’t help Sam’s anxiety when the general seriously says—<i>out loud</i>, he wants to emphasize—that “Space is hard.” He receives another text. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>                                                                                                                                     <i>"Space is hard." - General Mark R. Naird, 2020<br/>
#newmotto</i></p>
</div><p>Sam sinks deeper into his seat. </p><p>But then straightens up again as General Naird continues to speak. </p><p>“...I want her to have a taste of the Earth and remember what she’s fighting for.” The general’s voice trembles slightly but stays strong as he talks. It shames Sam to say this, but before this moment, he hadn’t realized how passionate General Naird is about Space Force and its role in helping society. The older man’s speech reminds him of Dr. Serizawa. How the Monarch scientist would speak in their own Senate hearings, fighting for the respect Titans deserve as fellow beings living with us on Earth. If we took care of our home and its inhabitants, they would take care of us in return.</p><p>A symbiotic relationship, if you will. </p><p>Sam smiles, his regard for the general increasing.</p><p>Incoherent chanting echoes from the back of the room. The crowd turns around to find a group of women wearing <i>Handmaid’s Tale</i> costumes and holding up signs with various “Pro-choice” slogans. </p><p>Bad timing, but good for them, Sam thinks.</p><p>Tony shakes him as they watch the protestors leave. “Hey, quick! Take a picture of me with them.”</p><p>“What?! Do it yourself.” But Tony has already thrown his phone at the other man and leaves Sam to juggle to not drop it. He quickly takes the picture and gives Tony back his phone. Sam’s own cell vibrates not long after. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>                                                                                                                                                   <i>cant even take a proper pic smh</i></p>
</div><p>Below the message is the photo Sam just took. More than half of the picture is covered by his thumb, completely obscuring Tony’s face. </p><p>
  <i>Who said it was accidental?</i>
</p><p>He sends Tony the middle-finger emoji. </p><p>Tony sends three back.</p><p>Sam sends a GIF of a group of people flipping off the camera. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>                                                                                                                                                                   <i>You win this time Coleman<br/>
<b>this</b> time</i></p>
</div><p>Sam smirks and puts away his phone. Just in time for Dr. Mallory to classily put the young senator on blast. He could see the woman get increasingly more embarrassed from his front row seat.</p><p>Sam wants to be like Dr. Mallory when he grows up.</p><p>Representative Pitosi finally dismisses Space Force, and Sam and Tony quickly get up to follow the general and chief scientist. </p><p>Fuck Tony glides through the center walkway, holding his hand out for high-fives along the way. However, unlike the social media director, Sam is not a child and just stares admiringly at the two older men as they walk out of the room. </p><p>"So, Dr. Coleman," General Naird turns to him and Sam has to physically shake his head to remove the heart filter over his eyes. "How was our first Space Force budget hearing?"</p><p>Sam's casual smile vanishes into a thin line. He brings his hands, palms pressed together, over his mouth and inhales sharply. Next to him, Fuck Tony grins.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Get ready for the start of plot (or something like that) next chapter!  (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑<br/>Btw, Sam knowing how to fly a plane is a reference to Thomas Middleditch's real-life pilot license, super cool! XD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Discovery Channel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Special thanks to the Gojipedia in general, the place has so much info we didn't know and surprisingly has a lot of backstory for characters like Sam, so writing and characterization were so much easier. (* ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉｼ<br/>We even found about the Silver Hydra after looking at some of the other series, take a look:<br/>https://godzilla.fandom.com/wiki/Silver_Hydra</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam Coleman reads over submitted plans and status updates for Monarch’s current projects on his tablet. He combs his fingers through his hair, stressed at the data showing the declining efficacy of quite a few of their MUTO containment systems, the communications network of several of their outposts experiencing blackouts due to the malfunctions. They have a dwindling amount of time to fix them or—god forbid—to create entirely new ones from scratch. They need to develop a solution quickly. </p><p>He's interrupted when his phone vibrates with a message from an unfortunately known number.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p><br/>
<i>Hey sam<br/>
sam whatre you doing?<br/>
~Sammy~<br/>
∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿</i></p>
</div><p>
  Jesus Christ, Sam thinks, not this again.
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <i>heeeeeey sam! whatre you up to?<br/>
im bored</i>
  </p>
</div><p>He sighs audibly. Against his better judgement, he texts back. </p><p>
  <i>Nothing you need to be concerned about.</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <i>Idk about you but that makes me pretty concerned</i>
  </p>
</div><p>
  <i>Don’t you have work to do?<br/>
Scarapiducci</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <i>OOOOHHHH<br/>
someone’s mad<br/>
And fyi<br/>
its my day off<br/>
So HA!!</i>
  </p>
</div><p>Sam rolls his eyes. Hopefully, if he indulges Fuck Tony, he’ll go away and leave him be. </p><p>
  <i>Alright, I’m working on improving Monarch’s global network systems.<br/>
Happy?<br/>
Now shoo</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <i>I wanna see</i>
  </p>
</div><p>
  <i>You will not.</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <i>Im gonna see</i>
  </p>
</div><p>
  <i>No, don’t bother me while I’m working.</i>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <i>Too late<br/>
Look up</i>
  </p>
</div><p>Sam looks up.</p><p>“What the fuck?!” He jumps when he sees Fuck Tony hovering over him. “Don’t <i>do</i> that! When did you even get here?" Sam’s expression becomes disturbed. “...<i>How</i> did you get in here?”</p><p>Much like other governmental organizations, Monarch has many individual facilities located around the world (Antarctica and Mount Fuji being a couple of those places). However, Sam got stuck in the Wyoming outpost after another containment breach had almost allowed the Titan of the area, Silver Hydra, to tunnel through the nearby national park. </p><p>But none of that explains why Fuck Tony Scarapiducci is currently standing here in the secret facility right now. </p><p>"While you were too busy texting, duh. You gotta pay more attention to your surroundings," Tony says in a sing-song voice and completely ignores the more important question. </p><p>Sam flinches away when Tony boops his nose, and his eyebrows furrow as he looks up. He doesn't think Fuck Tony has any right to criticize his phone-eye coordination, but decides to move on. "So I guess since you're already in here, you won't be leaving anytime soon, huh?…asshole.” Sam adds the last word under his breath.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what was that?” Tony peers back at Sam from his hunched over position, having been playing with the tiny plastic fighter planes littered around Sam’s desk. </p><p>“What was what?” Sam gives Tony a look filled with utter innocence. And having been prepubescent amongst his much older peers in college, he has had a lot of practice at pretending to be an angel...especially one who definitely did <i>not</i> hack a Tickle Me Elmo into replaying demonic screams from <i>The Exorcist</i> whenever his douchebag of a roommate (who was nine years older than him) walked in front of it. </p><p>Tony narrows his eyes, but stays quiet as Sam busies himself with tidying up his desk and putting away his documents. The taller man follows after him when they leave his office. </p><p>Sam catches Fuck Tony unsubtly pulling out his iPhone as they walk through the hall, but doesn’t bother to reprimand him. If, or more likely, <i>when</i> the social media consultant takes any confidential pictures, he’ll just steal the phone and delete them. Sam might as well let Tony have his fun for a while.</p><p>Sam greets the Monarch employees they pass by, giving them a reassuring look when they stare alarmingly at Tony waving his phone around taking pictures of whatever he finds fascinating. Which Sam isn’t entirely sure of, to be honest, as the majority of the sights they’ve wandered through so far have just been sparse walls with the occasional glass office.  </p><p>It’s after a few more minutes of this awkward silence disturbed only by their footsteps and the snapping of Tony’s iPhone, that Sam decides to at least be more openly friendly. </p><p>“So…” Sam takes a peek at the other man whose eyes are still glued to his phone, but quickly looks down at the tablet in his hand. “Do you want a tour?”</p><p>Tony’s face brightens. “Hell yeah I do! What’s the point of me being here if I don’t see at least one giant monster? Will we get to see Godzilla?!” There are stars in his eyes when he mentions the most well-known Titan.</p><p>Sam smiles back sheepishly, “Umm, no. No Godzilla, sorry.” He decides not to point out the fact that they're in a landlocked state with no chance of seeing the Titan poke his head out of the ocean before returning to the depths like he did during his first sighting, and just scratches the back of his head. “...if you can keep a secret, I can show you the one we <i>do</i> keep in here?” However, Sam hurriedly drops his hand, “But you <i>cannot</i> post any pictures you take.” </p><p>“Awwww, come on!” Tony says and dramatically stomps his feet, “I’m documenting Titan history for the masses! How else can I earn some clout?” </p><p>“From being known as trustworthy?” </p><p>“Borrriiing.” Tony slumps his shoulders and whines.</p><p>Sam ignores the other man’s griping and flippantly says, “...And anyway, we already have a museum for that.”</p><p>“...Wait, you have a <i>museum</i>?!”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>~O~</p>
</div><p>The Wyoming outpost isn't as large as some of the other Monarch locations being that the facility was just quickly built as an observation holding for the Silver Hydra, so it’s much smaller and less high-security than the 24/7 live-in base Castle Bravo is. </p><p>And so, Sam's tour wasn't very long at all. </p><p>Tony hums as he stares at another rock wall. He's stopped taking pictures since they took a visit to the medical center where Sam had explained to the social media manager how the bioengineering department had just finished the development of a new sedative administrator capable of piercing through the exteriors of harder skinned MUTO.</p><p>Tony had at least been polite enough to the other techs by nodding along, but it didn't really make Sam feel any more relaxed.</p><p>Ugh, Tony must think he's so boring!</p><p>Sam’s embarrassed to admit that he may be trying a little too hard at making friends with Fuck Tony Scarapiducci, wanting to show off the more interesting parts of his job to the irritatingly cooler and more charismatic man. It may not be so obvious to others (it is, it is really obvious), but Sam had spent his childhood indoors while the other kids played outside. He had felt so mature when he taught himself basic engineering at six years old, earning money through reselling refurbished vintage arcade cabinets. Sure, it helped pave his education and career, allowing for his quick rise up the Monarch leadership...</p><p>But it sure as fuck didn’t help him with his friendship making skills, because here he is showing Fuck Tony what's supposed to be a secret underground beast capable of mass destruction if provoked. </p><p>“Whoa! What’s that?” Tony runs up to the steel railing separating the facility from the cavern below. Sam winces as he watches the scientists try to dodge the tall flailing man as they head to their computer terminals. </p><p>The director of technology takes his time as he walks over, examining the screens he passes by. The displays show no abnormal fluctuations in the Titan’s vital signs currently, but sudden spikes have occurred throughout Sam’s visit here. </p><p>He strolls up next to Tony who’s still marveling over the Silver Hydra below. Rather than force the Titan into a prison of some sort, Monarch produced an energy barrier over the cavern entrance, allowing the Silver Hydra to stay in her natural habitat while also preventing her from damaging the land’s surface. </p><p>“Wow...that’s one ugly motherfucker,” Tony says despite continuing to take several more pictures of the Titan. </p><p>Sam shrugs, the other man isn't wrong. Instead of the majestic, more recognizable draconic or mammalian forms of other Titans, the Silver Hydra is the lovechild of a multiple-mouthed Xenomorph and a pile of gray goo. </p><p>Suddenly, the floor beneath them begins to shake and a shrill scream sounds from the cavern below. Rumbling fills the air as Silver Hydra paces around her habitat, clearly agitated.</p><p>"Oh shit, did he hear me? Hey, buddy, I meant ugly in a good way! Like the Predator!"</p><p>"I don't think <i>she</i> has any idea about the concept of sci-fi pop culture, Tony." Sam rushes over to the main console bay. The Titan’s heartbeat creates fast compacted waves on the monitor, causing warning signs to flash. </p><p>Now firmly in work mode, Sam orders an engineer to call the med team over the intercom, making sure they bring the newly made sedation device. Might as well test the thing, right?</p><p>An earthquake suddenly erupts, several people around him losing their balance and holding on to the terminals. </p><p>“Tony!” Sam whips his head towards the tall brunet. The other man is practically hugging the railing in front of him as the shaking doesn’t stop. Sam wobbles over to drag him back to safety. </p><p>“She's smashing her head against the walls!” Tony yells at him over the echoing chaos. </p><p>The Silver Hydra is indeed inflicting damage on herself, repeatedly throwing her malformed body against the rocky terrain and the man-made barrier above it. Silver goo melts out of her wounds and drops are flung wildly in the air. </p><p>She doesn’t stop, only thrashing harder and harder. Sam just barely pulls the other man away when the barrier shatters, the force causing them to fall over. </p><p>Sam is laying on top of Tony, covering him from any falling debris from the ceiling when the med crew finally arrives. He stands up quickly to help direct them, but not before pushing Tony into the arms of a random Monarch employee. </p><p>Thankfully, the prototype works as they administer it to the Titan from above, aiming through the holes in the barrier. The Titan immediately calms down, laying herself in the center of the cavern. </p><p>Sam sighs in relief, but startles when Tony appears over his shoulder, yet again.</p><p>“Look at that!” Somehow, his phone survived the whole ordeal as he’s back to recording. Sam tiredly searches where Tony’s pointing at and indeed, the globs of goo that Sam thought were the Titan’s blood mold themselves into tinier versions of the Silver Hydra. “Oh, gross! That’s disgusting!” Tony laughs.</p><p>Sam wrinkles his nose and calls a scientist over. They’d probably want to document this. </p><p>The director makes a note to himself to update Monarch’s lead science team who's currently busy at the Antarctica outpost. They really need to find a solution to better protect both the Titans and the environment. </p><p>A throat clears next to him. “Thanks by the way.” Before Sam could respond, the Space Force employee raises his voice, “Now this is some Discovery Channel shit right here! Is this how all Titans make babies?” Tony side-eyes the shorter man, still focusing on recording the baby-making process.</p><p>“No, not all of them,” Sam answers, puzzled by the abrupt change of subject. He stays quiet for a few seconds longer before continuing, “...We recently made a documentary about Titan reproduction, if you're curious...?”</p><p>Tony looks at him, his grin growing until it’s all teeth. </p><p>Sam raises his eyebrow, amused, “Fuck Tony, do you want to watch monster porn with me?”</p><p>“Hell yeah I do!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. New Uniforms, New Recruits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Haha, we decided to add plot to our (supposed to be) crack fic. Unfortunately, that led to writer's block, so we ended up taking a break ^-^''<br/>I hope you all enjoy what comes next :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As mentioned before, Monarch is a <i>global</i> organization with several outposts all around the world. Thus, along with the United States Space Force, Monarch has established alliances with the space exploration agencies of other countries in hopes of at least one of them finding a Titan signal somewhere out in the cosmos (as the saying goes, "more strength in numbers"). With Space Force, specifically, an agreement was procured to allow Monarch to supervise and utilize any technology developed by Space Force to use for and, if deemed absolutely necessary, against Titans. In return, Space Force was given the privilege to “borrow” members of Monarch’s G-Team for their own purposes as long as it doesn’t interfere with matters pertaining to Monarch or with their accords. </p>
<p>It is this reason that brought Sam Coleman to the office of Space Force’s Chief of Space Operations. </p>
<p>At this very moment in time.</p>
<p>“—was fire!”</p>
<p>Sam stops in his tracks in front of the doorway leading to General Naird’s waiting room. His eyes widen and his head whips back and forth, searching the room. “There’s a fire?!” </p>
<p>Brad just sighs from his desk in the corner of the room. “No, we’re just talking about the uniforms.” He waves his hand sadly at the pile of boxes surrounding Fuck Tony. </p>
<p>“What uniforms?” Sam asks as he gives Brad a stack of files containing information about the American G-Team members picked to join Space Force. </p>
<p>As if he was bidden, Tony presents Sam with a uniform of some kind. He gives the hanging clothing a flourish of his free hand and wiggles his eyebrows up and down. “The new Space Force uniforms! What do you think?” He asks with a grin. </p>
<p>“Yikes.” Sam winces at the ostentatious uniform and the multitude of boxes behind it. Fortunately, never having to go to high school during the height of his puberty saved him several years of what would have most likely involved him getting bullied for being a total nerd. That being said, the uniform still gives him flashbacks of a life where he was in the high school marching band playing a set composed entirely of space movie theme songs, and thus getting beaten up by jocks with his own clarinet. </p>
<p>Someone snaps their fingers in front of his face.</p>
<p>“Wh-what?” Sam shakes his head to reorient himself. Remember, Sam, you didn’t go to high school. You don’t know how to play the clarinet either. </p>
<p>“Come on, man. I asked you what you thought about these uniforms.” Fuck Tony wiggles the uniform in emphasis and tilts his head toward Brad, “Brad said it looks like it came from <i>The Greatest Showman</i>.” </p>
<p>Sam brightens at that. “I love the soundtrack!” </p>
<p>“Right?!” </p>
<p>Their mutual admirance over Hugh Jackman’s singing and the actor in general gets interrupted by Brad clearing his throat.</p>
<p>“Yes, but that still doesn’t mean those uniforms are fit for Space Force.” The old man awkwardly bangs his hands against the wooden surface of his desk as a sign of his decisiveness.</p>
<p>Tony sighs in exasperation, “At least Sammy over here agrees with me.”</p>
<p>Whoa, whoa, whoa. “No, I don’t!” Sam pushes the taller man away to emphasize his point. “Those uniforms are ugly as shit.”</p>
<p>Tony gives him a look of betrayal. “We just had a moment.” He places his hand dramatically over his heart. “We bonded over our love of Hugh Jackman.” He even goes so far as to wipe an imaginary tear from his eye.</p>
<p>“Yeah, over Hugh Jackman. <i>Not</i> the uniform.” </p>
<p>The front desk phone rings and Brad picks it up.</p>
<p>A feminine voice arises, “Did you see the uniforms?” and Tony immediately tosses the hanger over a nearby box and answers it in Brad’s stead. The two men talk over each other as Sam watches from the waiting room couch. </p>
<p>He serves himself a cup of water from the water cooler. </p>
<p>Sam readies himself to leave when the voice over the phone says the dreaded words, “Well, FLOTUS would like to see pictures of them in action.”</p>
<p>Tony agrees with the person on the phone and turns to Sam with a slow grin. Brad has a pitying look on his face. </p>
<p>Sam shakes his head no. Fuck Tony nods his head yes.</p>
<p>From the back of Sam’s mind, an overbearing brass version of <i>The Imperial March</i> plays.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>~O~</p>
</div>“You do remember that I'm not a member of Space Force, right?” Sam informs Fuck Tony as he stands next to the <i>actual</i> members of Space Force. Much like the other three, Sam is wearing a navy blue, red, and gold ensemble with matching capes and hats.<p>“Shut up, no one forced you to come to the office today,” Tony says as he fidgets with the ring light attached to his phone. “Now give me a lil’ spin!”</p>
<p>Sam shakes his head at Fuck Tony in utter disbelief and turns to Angela for support. </p>
<p>“Why am I in a cape?! She knows we’re not Avengers, right?” She tugs on the aforementioned cape, managing to still look badass in it. The captain becomes increasingly irritated as she argues with Fuck Tony. The captain seems to give up against Tony’s sheer persistence, but Sam could see the fury boil in her eyes. </p>
<p>It gives Sam goosebumps and an unwanted worry for the length of Fuck Tony’s life.</p>
<p>The camera man remains blissfully unaware of the upcoming threat in his near future. “Now, bop it!” He thrusts out his pelvis and continues taking pictures. </p>
<p>Defeated, Sam flings his cape over his shoulders and spins for the camera. After a few more “bop its”, Sam actually gets into it, giving his friend superhero poses. He and the other Space Force members do look like they belong in a Marvel comic...that had only one issue published before it was forgotten forever. </p>
<p>Whatever, it’s not like it’ll be <i>his</i> uniform, after all. </p>
<p>After ten more minutes of their photoshoot, Tony finally puts away his phone, “Okay, great! I’ll send these over in a bit.” </p>
<p>The models sigh in relief and leave to go change. </p>
<p>“Ehhh...except for you, Sam.” The taller man uses his lanky limbs to quickly grab ahold of Sam’s cape. “I have a job for you.” </p>
<p>Sam looks annoyed at Tony’s smarmy smile, “You’re not my boss. If anything, I’m your boss. Especially, since General Naird’s not here.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but unlike the general, you’re a pushover.” </p>
<p>Sam’s speechless, utterly brokenhearted. “I thought you were my friend," he wails, "I even showed you my monster porn...”</p>
<p>From behind Tony's faltering smile, Sam sees Brad slowly look up from his desk to stare at them. He frantically holds his hands up as if that could stop the man's thoughts from going down the unfortunate path his own lack of tact locked them into. "U-uh, wait, that came out wrong," he stammers, "it wasn't anything like that, we were just watching Titan intercourse—" His, very poor judging by Brad's growing discomfort, attempts at clarifying are cut off by Tony clapping a hand over his mouth.</p>
<p>"Sam, for the sake of everyone in this room," he gestures his other hand in a sweeping motion, "shut up."</p>
<p>Sam simply nods, and Tony moves his hand to grip his shoulder as if to reassure him. “And as your friend, that’s why I’m doing this. Helping you accept yourself…” Tony tips his head, “as a pushover.”</p>
<p>“No way!” Sam rips the cape from Tony’s grasp. “I already wore the damn thing for you.”</p>
<p>The other man claps. “Exactly! You already have it on, you just need to do this tiiiiiny thing for me," he says, pinching his thumb and index finger together in front of him with a wink.</p>
<p>Sam takes off his hat and screams into it.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>~O~</p>
</div>Sam trudges alongside Fuck Tony as the two of them walk back into the lobby. Over the course of the morning, he had been dragged across the grounds to each building to help distribute the new uniforms to the rest of Space Force, and now his feet are killing him.<p>He exhales slowly as he leans against a wall, the two of them pausing for Tony to take pictures of space men in the new uniforms walking by. Sam wonders how the other man appears barely winded (he briefly and bitterly considers the possibility that Tony is somehow draining the lifeforce of everyone wearing the uniforms and that's the reason for this madness) before resigning himself to looking around at the chaos Fuck Tony has left in his wake without the supervision of General Naird.</p>
<p>To his left, a group of space men are surprisingly into the uniforms, admiring each others' outfits as they swish their capes around and probably the only people in Space Force who don't look uncomfortable from the change of wardrobe. And to his right—</p>
<p>Sam freezes. And hides behind Tony as much as he can while wearing an outfit with "shoot me" gold highlights.</p>
<p>Before the taller man can even ask what the hell he's doing, Sam mutters, "Tony, please listen to me just this once. I will do anything—<i>anything</i>—if you get me out of this room and out of this costume <i>now</i>."</p>
<p>Sadly and unsurprisingly, Fuck Tony does not listen to him just this once and instead tries to find out what caused Sam to flip. He scans the room, stopping when he sees a group of newcomers walking through the building entrance and toward their direction. He glances back down just in time to see the Monarch director darting his eyes to the group before looking in any other direction. During another motion, Sam meets Tony's eyes and watches as he prays the man doesn't connect the dots. </p>
<p>His heart sinks when a smile splits Fuck Tony's face.</p>
<p>Tony wraps an arm around Sam's shoulders, pulling him closer, and eagerly waves at the others. "Oh my God, hey, <i>Sam's friends</i>! We're right over here! Look, look, <i>Sam</i>, why don't you say hello to <i>your friends</i>?"</p>
<p>The group notices Fuck Tony's obnoxious calls of course and walks the remaining distance to meet with the two of them, Sam burying his face behind his cape in some last-ditch effort at hiding and Tony wearing a shit-eating grin.</p>
<p>Chief Warrant Officer Jackson Barnes of the Monarch G-Team barks a laugh at the sight in front of him. "So this is what Dr. Sam Coleman gets up to when he's not holed up in some Monarch outpost underground."</p>
<p>"Jackson, please," Sam groans into the cloth, "I'm already dealing with some shit right now, and he won't give me a break." He flails a hand towards Tony but flinches away when Staff Sergeant Anthony Martinez leans closer to poke at the uniform’s gold decals. </p>
<p>The younger man hums and rubs his chin with his thumb and forefinger, “You look stupid.”</p>
<p>“Thank you!” Sam turns to Tony who’s been attempting to sweet talk First Lieutenant Lauren Griffin into wearing a uniform herself. He punches the taller man’s shoulder. “Stop harassing her, asshole!” </p>
<p>Tony rubs at the sore spot, frowning. "Jeez, Sam, just because you have a problem with the uniforms that doesn't mean everyone does."</p>
<p>"Actually, we do. We really do," says Lauren, staring at the clothing with distaste, and Tony lets out a small, dejected "Aww…". He gets zero sympathy from everyone around him.</p>
<p>“Wait a minute, what are you all doing here, anyway?” Sam finally remembers what he was even doing before Fuck Tony decided to drag him into his latest scheme. “Your astronaut training doesn’t even start until next week!”</p>
<p>Jackson shrugs, “Thought we’d come by and take a look at the place you decided to abandon us in.”</p>
<p>“You volunteered!”</p>
<p>“But that didn’t mean we actually wanted to get chosen,” Anthony pouts and Jackson pats his shoulder to console the younger man.</p>
<p>“Well take a good loooooong look,” Sam says, flapping the cape behind him, “This is what you’ll be wearing as uniforms from now on if this guy,” he jerks a thumb at Fuck Tony, “gets his way.”</p>
<p>All three G-Team members turn simultaneously towards Tony who’s back to texting on his phone. </p>
<p>They stare back at Sam in the godawful uniform, and then again, at Tony.</p>
<p>Lauren walks up to the media manager and smiles. Before Tony could open his mouth, she snatches the phone from his grasp and tosses it to Anthony, who runs up the spiral staircase. The staff sergeant leans over the railing and juggles the phone back and forth as if he’s going to drop it.</p>
<p>“Dude! What the fuck?!” Tony screams at the man above him, “I still haven’t sent the pictures to FLOTUS, yet!”</p>
<p>Sam narrows his eyes and crosses his arms, ignoring the gold tinsel falling in front of his face and covering his vision, “And you never will…”</p>
<p>“Well, the jokes on you!” Fuck Tony sneers and pulls up his right pant leg revealing an ankle holster with yet another iPhone, “I’ll just take more!” He gives the three of them the middle finger and just books it.</p>
<p>...Smacking right into Jackson, who picks him up in a bear grab. The lean man kicking and punching in the air like the inflatable dancing tube men in car dealerships. Jackson carries Tony back to the huddle, not letting go even when Tony stops fighting, having tired himself out.</p>
<p>Tony glares at the group, “It’s too late anyway. We already distributed the uniforms...thanks to you.” He maniacally grins at Sam and evil laughs, apparently embracing his role as the supervillain with his reign over Space Force.</p>
<p>So that's the game he wants to play, Sam thinks.</p>
<p>Acting like the defeated bootleg Avenger he most definitely looks like, Sam looks at Tony in revulsion, “You monster!”</p>
<p>Tony's laughter continues and Sam lets out a "Nooooooo!" that echoes throughout the building. The G-Team look at each other and shrug.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>~O~</p>
</div>Finally, Sam gets to forsake the dreaded bargain-bin Halloween costume and now they’ve all ended up in the Space Force food court. The Monarch employees crowd the table with their food trays as Tony declines to eat with them.<p>“So, are you guys just gonna stick around for the rest of the day?” Tony asks, leaning his elbows on the table behind him, “or what?”</p>
<p>Sam holds his pointer finger up, signaling his friend to be patient. With utmost concentration, Sam carefully uses the cantina’s plastic knife to cut two opposite diagonal lines in his grilled cheese sandwich. He picks up an individual piece (“mini sandwich”) and dips each side in ketchup. Sam takes his time to bite the sandwich, chew, and swallow before gesturing Tony to resume speaking. </p>
<p>Tony rolls his eyes, "Whatever...Remind me to invite you next time I eat lunch with Chan." Tony says in departing and ditches the group, probably to take more pictures. </p>
<p>Jackson waits a few more seconds after the media manager leaves to start talking. “So what do you really think about this,” Jackson waves his chicken nugget in the air, flinging ranch dressing all over the table, “whole thing, Sam?” </p>
<p>"It's been...interesting, to say the least."</p>
<p>Lauren snorts but continues to eat her egg salad sandwich.</p>
<p>Anthony, always the eager of the bunch, scoots closer to Sam. “Yeah, but like, we’re going to space, right? That’s so badass.”</p>
<p>Jackson furrows his brow, “Why do they need us, anyway? I’d have thought more people would want the chance to go to the moon.”</p>
<p>Sam dips his mini sandwich and thinks about the monkey-dog fiasco Tony told him about. He winces, “...yeah, but no. Anyway, to expand on your first question: General Naird isn’t that bad of a boss. Like honestly, he should know more about what’s going on science-wise but he seems to care enough about Space Force and the whole ‘going to space’ thing.”</p>
<p>Jackson nods in thought. Having been friends for a while, Jackson has told Sam about some of the military officers he’s had before being recruited by Monarch and in comparison, Naird is similar to the better half of the spectrum. He continues speaking, "And that Tony guy, he's…" </p>
<p>"A pain in the ass?" Sam blurts out, now having a chance to rant about the guy that forced him to parade around in a stupid uniform he isn’t going to wear regardless.</p>
<p>Jackson holds his hands up, chicken nugget still in hand, "You said it, not me."</p>
<p>"Well, that <i>was</i> harsh. I mean he's like…" Sam takes another bite of his sandwich as he ponders how to properly describe Fuck Tony, "...a cat."</p>
<p>"A cat?" Anthony butts in this time. </p>
<p>"Yeah. He wants attention, he'll bother you until you give him attention, but he's somehow endearing. You end up liking him too much to kick him out." Sam gives a small grin that quickly disappears, "But Jesus Christ does that man test my patience.” He continues, “And the scientists are actually quite brilliant. Dr. Mallory is the top of his field and his second—”</p>
<p>“Blah, blah, blah. Sorry, <i>Mr. Director</i>, but we weren’t really asking about the nerds,” Lauren interrupts, “We want to know who to watch out for…” She tilts her head and shrugs, “...other than Tony Scarapucci.”</p>
<p>“Scarapiducci.”</p>
<p>“Don’t care.”</p>
<p>“Well...I’m not entirely sure, but…” Sam subtly looks around the relatively empty food court and lowers his voice a tad, “they do seem to have some beef with the Air Force.”</p>
<p>Caught on to Sam’s suddenly serious tone, the three G-Team members lean closer to Sam.</p>
<p>Lauren narrows her eyes, “I’m assuming it’s not just some friendly jock rivalry.”</p>
<p>Sam takes a sip of his iced tea. “...It’s pretty much common knowledge how much General Grabaston wants to put Space Force under Air Force authority.”</p>
<p>She sneers, probably thinking about how the American military tried to pull that shit on Monarch not too long ago, “And what’s General Naird going to do about that?”</p>
<p>Sam wipes his mouth with his napkin. “That’s the thing...I don’t really think he knows either.”</p>
<p>Sam trails off, and the other three Monarch employees digest this new information along with their lunch.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic: T^T I'm in my last semester of nursing school and I'm stressing!!! This fic is pretty much on a hiatus (don't know how long, just not abandoned), Haha...I wish I had more time and motivation for my fics (๑ᵕ⌓ᵕ̤)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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